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Interpretation, Misinterpretation
Quote
"In the absence of the human voice, we naturally fill the silence with the echo of our own fears."
Unknown
Facts
Research has shown that in nearly half of our text exchanges, the intent behind the message is misinterpreted.
Text messages strip away a large part of our natural communication toolkit.
With face-to-face communication, there is often tone, facial expressions and body language to provide a better chance of clear communication.
This massive information deficit forces our brains to fill gaps with assumptions based on our current emotional state, past experiences, and the connection and history we have with the sender.
When that ambiguous text message arrives, we sometimes assume the worst.
"Brain scans show our brains are wired to react more strongly to negative information. When we suspect bad news, our brain's alarm system (the amygdala) activates and becomes about five times more sensitive than when processing positive information.
Vaish et al., Psychological Bulletin, 2008
The Filter
We don't simply receive communication - we actively interpret it through our own unique personalised filters.
Our brains can fill information gaps with expectations and preconceived ideas, not necessarily an objective reality.
Our current emotional state and past experiences serve as powerful filters.
Personal insecurities can act like magnets, attracting corresponding interpretations.
Someone with sensitivities around feeling rejected may look for any potential signs of dismissal that others wouldn't notice.
This "lens effect" explains why the same comment can feel supportive on a good day but critical on a bad one.
Thoughts
How does your writing style change if you're stressed, tired, or rushing - and how might others interpret those changes? Your communication patterns can shift with your emotional state, but recipients don't always know your context.
What's your default assumption when someone's message feels cold or short - do you assume they're angry, busy or just direct?Your interpretation lens can be shaped by your own experiences, expectations on communication style and current mood.
Before reacting to a seemingly negative message, ask:
"Could my own insecurities or past experiences be influencing how I'm receiving this?"
"Could how I’m currently feeling influence how I’m interpreting this message?"
When faced with a potentially problematic message, think of several different ways it could be interpreted - from most negative to most positive.
Flexible thinking and keeping an open mind that allows for communication channels to stay open until you have more information.
Taking time to pause before responding, and weighing up alternative intents may allow for a more measured response - even if your initial take was correct.
